“Better late than never” has kinda been my motto this year (and for much of my life, if I’m 100% honest), and it applies in so many contexts. In this case—posting my 2024 reading list at the end of 2025—I’d say it applies. It also applies, and perhaps even more profoundly, when it comes to taking accountability for your actions. In other words, I think it’s better to acknowledge at some “later” point in time that you’ve been wrong or could’ve done something differently, rather than never acknowledging your shortcomings at all.
I personally believe many of my shortcomings have stemmed from people-pleasing and perfectionist tendencies. I’ve always been afraid to fail, and particularly devastated by it even in situations where one should not reasonably expect to succeed. (Those early rejection letters I received before I knew the first thing about writing come to mind.) I’ve been equally afraid to ask for help, even when I really need it. I’ve told little white lies to avoid hurting other people’s feelings. Pretended everything is okay when it isn’t. This way of living, however—after thirty rocky years—has finally taken its toll on me.
I’ve heard it said before that “breakdowns” can lead to “breakthroughs,” and I feel like that’s what happened for me this year. With the “breakdown” part behind me now, I’ve been able to find a sense of freedom in coming to terms with mistakes and regrets. It is a kind of power to realize and accept the ways in which we contribute to our own problems, because our own actions are the only ones over which we have any true control. Like most of us, I wish I could unsay and undo a lot of things I’ve said and done (or failed to do), but unfortunately, that’s not how life works. The “breakthrough” part comes when we realize that we can only learn from these things and do better in the future.
I wish I’d read more books in 2024, and I could have if I’d made better choices about managing my time. I could’ve chosen to read instead of spending hours doomscrolling and making my mental health even worse by exposing my nervous system to distressing content. I could’ve spent my weekends writing or spending time with people who truly love me, instead of worrying about my day job or other things I shouldn’t have been worrying about. But, as I’ve said, I can’t do it over. I can only do better from now on, and that’s what I aim to do. I think Lucille Clifton said it best in her poem quoted below.
i am running into a new year / and the old years blow back / like a wind
Lucille Clifton
So anyway, here is the (rather short) list of books I read in 2024, and here’s to reading even more in years to come!
- The House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros
- Meadowlands by Louise Glück
- Life Among the Piutes: Their Claims & Wrongs by Sarah Winnemucca Hopkins
- The Surrounded by D’Arcy McNickle
- Writing Your Novel from Start to Finish by Joseph Bates
- Library Lion by Michelle Knudsen
- The Round House by Louise Erdrich
- There There by Tommy Orange
- She Had Some Horses by Joy Harjo
- Burn by Sara Henning
- The Writing Life by Annie Dillard
- Hand to Mouth by Linda Tirado
- Mother Country by Jacinda Townsend
- The First Five Pages by Noah Lukeman
- Stories No One Hopes Are About Them by A.J. Bermudez
- Taking Turns by MK Czerwiec
E.V. Zukowski 